I think it was a year ago when I was experiencing a really dry season. I didn’t feel inspired at all, and it really bothered me. I would think back to times or seasons when I had felt really inspired – that fall semester of my Junior year of high school, the week after Spiritual Emphasis Week during my Sophomore year of Uni, my DTS – and I would miss them. What was so unique about those seasons? Why was I so inspired then?
If I were to “research” those seasons from a very objective point of view, there was something really consistent that I know I would find in all of them. They were seasons of input. That fall semester of my Junior year of high school came on the back of a really challenging time for me, and I found myself at Starbucks every single morning before school reading my Bible. Every. Single. Morning. I am not entirely sure how I did that because my school started at 7:25, and I know I was normally at Starbucks for a good 30-45 minute. That was early for me!
That time of my life was really incredible, though, because I found a love for the Word like never before. I really enjoyed reading the Bible every morning. Funnily enough I lost that Bible a few months into that new season, and I’ve never seen it again. Hopefully someone found it, and the words came alive for them, too!
Then fast forward to Sophomore year at Uni. We had Spiritual Emphasis Week (SEW) every year, and this particularly year in September, we had Clayton King sharing. Things had already been stirring in me. I had already been feeling a new found excitement for what I was doing and where I was. I wasn’t even originally going to be at Uni that year. Originally I was going to do a year internship/study in NYC, but those plans changed a month before school started. I sat and listened each night of SEW, but on the Wednesday night, the message gripped my heart like never before. It was the first night I deeply and clearly felt the call to missions. (If you have a spare hour, I highly recommend listening to the podcast here. Click on number 13 “Spiritual Emphasis Week” and start at min 32:00)
Of course my DTS seems a bit obvious. It’s 12 weeks of input – a “honeymoon” with God as some say. I was insanely inspired throughout that entire 12 weeks and outreach!
Then I came back on staff, and I think there were moments of inspiration here and there, particularly later in 2010 when I staffed the DTS. Since then, though, I haven’t had this ongoing season of input. I am not on a school or at Uni. I am working full-time, and although we have base worship and public meeting and then church on the weekends, there isn’t this every day consistent input environment where I am constantly being fed. I miss it.
I think we take those seasons for granted. I know I definitely did, more so in high school and college than during my DTS. When we are in those seasons, we cannot wait to be done. Well when you’re done, after the glistening new freedom of no assignments, tests or essays wears off, you miss it.
Does that mean we aren’t inspired anymore? We are trapped in the mundane, day-to-day? Absolutely not, and I feel I have gotten new revelation of this in the past year or so.
The end of Hebrews five and into chapter six, it talks about moving from milk to solid food, a metaphor for maturing. Milk implies someone giving it to you or feeding you – a baby – whereas solid food implies feeding yourself. We need to run towards that solid food and feed ourselves. Otherwise we’ll just be lacking, feeling uninspired and get really tired, really quick. We need to stay inspired, but the older I get, the more I recognize my responsibility to seek it out.
A new day, and I am feeling inspired!