Do you ever get off track?
As consumed as my mind has been for the last hour and a half as I have laid in my bed desperately trying to fall asleep, I’m not entirely sure how to put those numerous thoughts into sentences here. I’m drawn, though. My mind went to my blog, which is strange because it has been a grand 2 months since I have said anything on here.
For the past 12ish days, I have been sick. The first 6 days, I felt like I had gotten this gastro-bug that’s been going around. All the normal symptoms to go with that as well, one most notably…exhaustion. I slept so much, and even after I had slept for hours, I still felt tired. By last Tuesday afternoon, I thought I was getting some energy back, and I woke up Wednesday morning raring to go. With that energy and excitement, I went about life as normal, all the way to Wednesday night moving around 60-80 chairs, fans, running around and problem solving, etc. I finally fell asleep around midnight, and I woke up the next morning feeling sick again. This time, though, it was a completely different bug. I had a sore throat, runny nose, start of a cough, aches… What is going on? I tried working that day, and by the afternoon, I must have looked pathetic because I got sent home. So began 4 more days of sore throats, headaches, sleeping, etc.
Did I tell you one of my strengths (Strengths Finders-you should do it) is “connectedness”. When I used to read that it felt like it was such a hippie strength – “
I’ve always been interested in health. Many of my favourite shows over the years have centred around hospitals/doctors (ER, Grey’s Anatomy, etc.). It fascinates me. Yet if I have enough symptoms personally over a period of time, no matter how inconsequential they may be, I consult “google”, and even though I am very grateful for google, in these instances, his evil side comes out.
Because I have been sick for 12 days with a mixed bag of symptoms, my mind has been so anxious for the past 24 hours (particularly with a new symptom that I am actually going to ask my Dr about).
You know what is ridiculous in all of this, though? I feel sick or think something is wrong, and my response is “ask google.” Google hasn’t actually led me anywhere positive when it comes to my health. It’s only promoted fear and anxiety. Why isn’t my first thought to ask God? In almost every other area, when there is a shortcoming or an issue or a question I have, I have learned over the years to ask God, but I think for some reason this area, my health, doesn’t fit. I chalk it up to science and medicine. How ridiculous is that?
I’m not negating the incredible work of doctors and health professionals, not in the slightest. However, if at every cough or every pain, I am turning to google for my answers, it’s no wonder I am feeling anxious.
I know I am not alone in this either. I’ve had friends who have had babies have their Drs tell them to stay off the internet. They understand, and maybe they don’t even know God. They get it, though. As beautiful as the World Wide Web is – as helpful and resourceful and fun – it is much like space…an endless Universe full of things to discover with no licence from NASA. (After seeing Gravity and realising the analogy I just came up with, I am feeling ridiculous b/c that would be TERRIFYING!)
So what’s the point of this? Well after being incredibly transparent and at the risk of you thinking I am a hypochondriac, I am just saying that I am feeling convicted and challenged that I literally “IN EVERYTHING” am going to God. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERY SITUATION, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Phil 4:6