Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in my office after a meeting catching up on a few things, and apparently baby was super awake/happy/excited/energetic because I began feeling multiple little jabs in the same area of my belly. I kept noticing it and thinking how crazy it was. I sent Robbie a text to come up – maybe he could feel these because they seem stronger than any other little jabs I’ve had in the last week or two. He couldn’t feel yet, but man, there was a lot happening in there.
There are ordinary moments like that – everyday moments sitting at work or on our couch or at church – that totally are not ordinary anymore.
They’re so surreal.
I looked up that definition and found that surreal means “resembling a dream.” What a great definition!
My entire life I have wanted to be a mum. I’ve always been drawn to kids, and partly I think that was because I’ve always been around them. I think another part, though, was my observation of the beauty of motherhood and being a little kid and growing up.
It’s been a dream.
Saying these moments are surreal absolutely fits, and I am hoping that it will stay this way. I don’t ever want it to be mundane.
I am reminded of the Bethel song – “May we never lose our wonder…” – and noting how we should be actively seeking that same wonder, dreamlike awe of knowing God, seeking God, being with God as we do with new experiences. I’m challenged by this revelation.
I am so thankful for this journey. I remember before getting married having married friends tell me that you’ll learn things about God in a totally new way being married. You have a different perspective. I have heard those same sentiments from friends who have children. This isn’t to say people who aren’t in these seasons are somehow lacking – not at all. It’s just noting that God is infinite. That their are immeasurable possibilities in our experience of Him if we look for them. If we seek them.
I love this little bean in my belly. I love the reminders of how much of a privilege this journey is. Hearing the heartbeat Tuesday at our appt – surreal. What a privilege. Feeling these little jabs – surreal. Telling friends and family the news – surreal. Looking for prams and toys and baby clothes – surreal. It’s all part of this beautiful experience. It’s new, so obviously I am recognising it more.
Here’s to “new” not determining recognition.
May we never lose our wonder…